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When you’d really rather not

by on April 6, 2011

Today, I was planning to go to an evening class after work. Before that evening class, lots of ‘stuff’ happened. You know, lifestuff.

I canceled and re-registered for this same class 3 times.

It was a teacher from out of town subbing a regular class at a studio I practice at, and I remembered her visit last year and wanted to see her again. So a very strong part of me made the chatter – “Why force yourself to do something you don’t want? Go home. Sleep. Lay around. Feel sorry for yourself” “It’s hard to breathe today – what if I pass out?” “I’m way too anxious and don’t want to bring that energy into the room.”

I told myself a million things. But in the end, I sat down quietly waiting for class to start, and my breathing started to slow, and I thought “Man, I’ve done a lot right here. I could leave and call that class!” Of course, I stayed 🙂

It’s hard to differentiate between when you’re giving yourself what you want versus what you need. That’s what was hard for me today – some days I really DO need to lay around and relax, and others, getting out there and practicing some asana is what makes an opening.

Thoughts, y’all?

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One Comment
  1. Guerrilla Yogi permalink

    “When you are wanting to practice the least, is probably when you need it the most,” someone once said, and I once paraphrased. AKA “When you feel like leaving the pose is when it is beginning to work.”

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