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When you’d really rather not

by on April 6, 2011

Today, I was planning to go to an evening class after work. Before that evening class, lots of ‘stuff’ happened. You know, lifestuff.

I canceled and re-registered for this same class 3 times.

It was a teacher from out of town subbing a regular class at a studio I practice at, and I remembered her visit last year and wanted to see her again. So a very strong part of me made the chatter – “Why force yourself to do something you don’t want? Go home. Sleep. Lay around. Feel sorry for yourself” “It’s hard to breathe today – what if I pass out?” “I’m way too anxious and don’t want to bring that energy into the room.”

I told myself a million things. But in the end, I sat down quietly waiting for class to start, and my breathing started to slow, and I thought “Man, I’ve done a lot right here. I could leave and call that class!” Of course, I stayed 🙂

It’s hard to differentiate between when you’re giving yourself what you want versus what you need. That’s what was hard for me today – some days I really DO need to lay around and relax, and others, getting out there and practicing some asana is what makes an opening.

Thoughts, y’all?

One Comment
  1. Guerrilla Yogi permalink

    “When you are wanting to practice the least, is probably when you need it the most,” someone once said, and I once paraphrased. AKA “When you feel like leaving the pose is when it is beginning to work.”

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