A dream come true

(This is an elaboration of my guitar performance mentioned in my Day 16 post. Think of it as an interesting story rather than a teacher training post.)

There was a citywide “bandh” or strike today, as is common here. This may be the reason why our first lecturer was late by about 20 minutes. Everyone found ways to entertain themselves, from chatting with each other, to performing asanas, or writing in their journals. Our instructor finally showed up. After lunch (and subsequent relaxation) we waited for Mr. Prabhakar to arrive and moderate our scheduled public speaking assignments (a five minute presentation on our favorite hobby). I had brought my cousin’s guitar as an exhibit.

However, he didn’t show up. About 10 minutes into the hour, I decided to continue meditating (with open eyes), as I had already been relaxing, and wanted to sustain the energy I built in savasana. I was looking around and contemplating my mental processes as I observed the auras of my fellow students chatting amongst themselves. There was a dreamlike quality to this experience. And then, I saw these pictures on the wall.

I didn’t get close enough to see that it was Satchinanda. From a distance (and up close) it reminded me of the classic alien (little grey man). And I had a sudden urgent thought: what if this was a dream? You may have heard of the alien dream common to those who regularly experience altered states, lucid dreams, etc. I’ve also had lucid dreams while in deep relaxation. And, there were elements of this situation that were definitely dreamlike. One of my most memorable lucid dreams included sitting at a yoga class where the instructor failed to show up, an announcement was made that the instructor would not be coming, and I stood up and volunteered to lead the class.

This memory and its associated emotions (excitement, fear) instantly came rushing back to me. Sitting in a yoga class with no teacher and sensing the energy scatter, I had an urgent sense to rise up and act; to realize that this was the moment I had dreamed about, and to harness the energy and make something happen. My mind kicked in and started contemplating a plan of action: should I offer asana? Meditation? I decided to simply grab the stage and offer suggestions.

Immediately, before I stood up, Deepa (a fellow student) stood up and made an announcement about planning a group activity next week. For a moment, I felt deflated. Had I missed a golden opportunity to act? Or had she sensed the same need to harness our class the way I did, but simply acted sooner? Was her idea of planning a future outing more appropriate to the situation than my plan to guide a yoga session? I stayed seated, and contemplated the consequences of my inaction. No matter, after a couple of minutes of discussion, the energy was again dispersed, with random groups sitting around and idly conversing. This was my moment. As I got up and started walking towards the front of the room, I overheard someone ask: “Sachin, are you going to play the guitar for us?” I smiled and said “maybe.”

Upon reaching the front, I waved my hands, and said “attention everyone. This is the second time today our teacher is over 15 minutes late. While we continue waiting, would anyone like to try a short and sweet meditation?”  My plan was to share a 5-point meditation I had learned from S.S. Ravi Shankar. However, the class seemed ambivalent on the idea, with at least one woman claiming that she didn’t feel like meditating at the time.

Again, I heard someone suggest a musical performance, so I asked “meditation or music?” An abundance of cries arose favoring music. So I grabbed my guitar, strapped it on, tuned it, and looked up to find everyone’s eyes gazing at me with rapt attention. I had another realization that this was it – I had harnessed the energy of the room, and could do with it as I pleased (musically, at least). A brief moment of panic at the realization of this power gave way to the reminder that I was up there to perform for others, i.e. to serve. So I asked for song ideas, and went ahead with the first suggestion.

An oldie but a goodie that I’ve been playing around campfires for years (and am admittedly a little sick of). Yet, it was worth it to experience the feeling of seizing the moment, being in my element, and sensing the sweet connection with other students singing along.